Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's going. We grasp that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his current health, his family and making preparations for when the disease deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or maybe I deal with matters uniquely, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
Initial Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a set of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly quite affected about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't experience poorly
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I'm still capable of accomplishing all activities. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Progression
MND can progress quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the condition claims a 33% of people within a year and more than half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and breathing become harder.
Medical care can only delay decline.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and began licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody explained the emphasis was remaining in the now.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be very intensely directed on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really lucky that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Athlete Association
Professional competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research proposing the incidence of the condition is up to six times greater than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen obtainable and creating harm to neural pathways, consistent, intense training can activate the disease in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his brave, persistent method to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a workout altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a training equipment and began participating in collisions.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, creating a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing field goal.
Backing Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- colleagues about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he commented.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your profession, it's one of the most important honors.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
